Monthly Archives: June 2009

How to keep your cool: effects of scolding to a child

Scold.. but don’t berate your children
Joeyjo by Joeyjo Minti Founder(January 2007) (rank 351st)

I witnessed something rather distressing last weekend. I was at a family lunch and my 7 yo cousin was being scolded by his mum for being rude to her. Actually, he really was not that rude (she should hear some of the things my kids say to me!). He told
her “not to make fun” of him when she admonished him for something. The mum flipped. She proceeded to scold him in front of all of us and then it got personal. She told him that he had an “idiotic brain”. That was when I felt truly uncomfortable because I saw how humiliated the boy was.

There were a few things that this mum did not reccognise at that time because of her temper:

(1) There were people around – her son was humiliated. He wasn’t just simply admonished or “being put in his place”.

(2) There was no excuse to berate your child – especially not in front of an audience.

(3) There is a requirement to curb your temper or at least, control your action or reaction around children.

From my personal experience, children are born very innocent. They do not possess the protective layers that we, as adults and through years of experience and heartache, have developed. Any barbs and stings pierce right through to their fragile souls. Ironically, our protectors ie our mums and dads, are the ones that hurt us deepest of all with their unkind words.

As parents, let’s remember to VALIDATE our children. Often and always.
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Related Content:

* Children Should Be Allowed To Get Angry Too!
* Discipline: A training for life
* Yelling at Children Can Be Harmful
* Never yell at your child
* Help Your Child Pay Better Attention – Don’t Yell

Kamusta na kaya sila?

WALA akong masyadong kaibigan. Hindi ako pala-labas na tao (gimik). Ang mga kaibigan ko simula ng mag-trabaho ako at mangilan-ngilan na kaklase ko pa noong high school at college ay sa Friendster at Facebook ko lang nakikita. ‘Yung valedictorian namin at ‘yung isa na kasama sa top 10 ng graduating class sa high school naging kaibigan ko sa Facebook. Nagiimbita sila na lumabas sa unang pagkakataon makalipas ang may ilang taon na hindi namin pagkikita. Umiral na naman ang pagka-mahiyain ko. Ayun mabuti at naunawaan naman nila. Sila ‘yung mga taong akala mo namimili ng kakaibiganin pero mali pala ako. Mas mainam pa nga sila kumpara sa ibang nakatrabaho ko noon sa dyaryo. Parang sa showbiz, marami ring plastikada at tsimoso. Hindi naman lahat marami pa rin ang mabait at tapat. Naging kumare ko pa nga ang iba sa kanila.

Minsan sumasagi pa rin sa isip ko ang mga taong nakapanayam ko, mga taong nagbigay ng banner material sa akin. Hindi lang sila source of information para sa akin. Naging kaibigan ko rin ang iba sa kanila. At kahit papaano, ang storyang ginawa ko ay nagbukas naman ng ilang magandang opportunity para sa kanila. Masarap ang pakiramdam na sa maliit na contribution mo ay nakatulong ka sa kapwa mo. May panahon pa na kahit walang-wala ako ay ako pa mismo ang nagpapaluwal ng kaunting halaga, matuloy lang ang isang interview o kaya naman ay maiabot sa taong nangangailangan nito. Wala akong magawa kundi aluhin sila sa aba nilang kalagayan.

** Wala lang senti mood lang ako ngayon. Hindi ako masyadong makaikot (bloghop) at mabisita ang site ng mga kaibigan ko at ka-barrio sa Barrio Siete dahil bilang ina mas una muna ang papel ko bilang taga-asikaso ng asawa at mga anak at syempre taga-laba dahil Lunes ngayon. Ang post na ito in-update ko lang sa draft. Pramis may mga timely post ako ‘pag balik ko at hindi na ako busy. Salamat po sa mga dati at bagong kaibigan – may mga Single Ladies (Beyonce’s song in mind), marami rin ang mga mommies at ‘yung iba ama ng tahanan. Magandang araw!